due date... and more :)

Home at last.

It has almost been two weeks since we got to bring our sweet Holden home. Man what a good day that was. What is so amazing about all of this is that he left before his due date... 2 weeks before! When I was in the hospital, I was told, because of my situation that we would be spending months and months here if Holden made it past delivery. That was what I was prepared for. In fact, as silly as it sounds, that is what I was praying for. I didn't want to go through the other option. I wanted to ride the NICU rollercoaster. I remember when I was having a really bad day in the hospital my sister, Farrah, came to visit me. She knew I was struggling. I remember sitting in that room and sobbing to her telling her that my situation could end in two extremes... one, I could bring my baby home with me someday and be the happiest mamma on Earth, or two I wouldn't get that opportunity and my biggest fear would become a reality. I never really spoke much about my situation but this particular day I remember just repeating through tears to Farrah, "I want a baby so bad. I want him SO bad." I never really let myself go there just to be extremely dissappointed in the end. Just the thought of bringing Holden home was too much. I didn't want to get my hopes up.

So two months and a week later, you can only imagine the joy I had when I got the opportunity to bring this lump of heaven home to our family. The tears are streaming down my face. I am so full of gratitude. I got the opportunity to ride the NICU rollercoaster and Holden has beaten all the odds.

Man are we blessed.

finally coming home

September 2, 2010

Being home has been wonderful. A bit stressful, but amazing. Lennnon is adjusting so well. He really does love his "baby brudder". It was so cute, the other day I was laying in bed and Holden was in his bassinet next to me sound asleep. He had one arm peaking out of his blankets with his hand in a fist. Lennon came strolling in and I was faking asleep just to see what he would do and sure enough, Lennon put his hand in a fist and gave Holden stones. After stones he was yelling "high five! High FIVE! HIGH FIVE!!" Holden didn't get it apparently and Lennon was not having it. I had to tell Lennon that he doesn't know that yet but he can teach him,

So cute.

Holden has already seen most of his doctors for follow-up. He has kicked three of the meds he came home on and we will try taking his oxygen next week. His heart function is perfect! Doctor says that everything looks normal. Growth, beat, contractions, etc. Phew! Such a relief. She is the one who cut his meds and said she wants to take him off the oxygen next week.

Holden does have a duplication cyst on his intestine that will need to be removed and he will be at Primary Childrens for a few days just to recover. It is a minor surgery (i've been told :) so hopefully all goes well. The strange thing about both his heart and that cyst, it they are NOT premature related. He would have had those regardless and it may have been worse had he gone full term.

Another blessing.

Holden's eyes are perfect and need no follow up.

His left ear passed his hearing test while his right one failed due to retaining fluid. The doctor said it is a good sign that he passed in the one side. I am not worried about it. Especially since she checked for fluid in the right ear and sure enough... there was fluid. We follow up in a few weeks.

So far so good. Holden has blessed our lives more than we can even comprehend. I feel so blessed to have this sweet spirit in our home. What an amazing trial.

*Below are some pictures I have been meaning to post. Enjoy.*

We had to "room in" at the hospital just to make sure we were all good to go.

It was hard saying goodbye.

Linda was one of Holden's primary nurses. She was a true angel. I love her.

Lennon's first time meeting his "baby brudder".

Lennon and his eggs. He would rather step in them.

Lately we have been trying to teach Lennon to only color on paper. He doesn't listen.

Holden digs his new bed.

Before I brought Holden Home, Farrah and I took the kids to Thanksgiving Point. They loved it. I didn't :)

Maycie Joe

Amazing.

coming home!!

I never thought this day would happen... truly.

Holden is coming home!

We are so excited, intimidated, nervous, happy, etc. As I am writing this B and I are in our little hospital room with our sweet baby boy laying next to us in his crib. What an angel. I can't even tell you how good this feels. I never thought I would be so lucky. I feel so grateful. This experience has been the most amazing, rewarding, challenging, spiritual thing I think I have ever experienced in my life thus far. The relationships I have shared will be treasured forever. We got the opportunity to meet a lot of amazing nurses and grew extremely close to them. They truly are angles. I know God knew what he was doing by sending them to me and Holden. We will miss them with all our hearts. They are special and will never be forgotten. I hope to keep in touch with them.

Holden is doing great. It is going to be busy bringing him home. Lots of follow-ups, medications, oxygen, no sleep, etc. I am so excited to have this opportunity. I really can't believe it. I know that this little guy is here for a purpose. He has fought a pretty intense battle to finally get to this point and he has shocked many people in the mean time. I feel incredibly blessed.

I love him.

He is the best and I am anxious to see how Lennon handles everything. I think he will be great. He is a sweet one. I will keep everyone updated on Holden's progress and I wanted to thank everyone for their prayers and sweet thoughts. We really couldn't have done it without you. I know God is real. I know he is mindful of us. I am grateful.

Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts.

**just a little side note**

Becca... I love you. I love that you have taken on the role of Lennon's second mommy through all of this. I am tearing up just thinking of all that you did these last few months. I know you sacrificed a lot by serving me and I don't think thank you is enough. You are young and should be out with friends every night, but instead you have been helping me so thank you and I love you. I hope I can repay you someday.