Forget the embarrassment of being sentimental. I'm on 'spring break' right now from law school and finally got to go to the beach with Rachel and the boys. Lennon couldn't believe that I wasn't going to school. He wouldn't leave my side and was so excited that I was actually going to do something. He showed me everything I had been missing--catching waves with arm floaters, chasing birds, running in the ocean until you trip and (his favorite) surfing on Milk Toast's body board. It's crazy how a 3 year old with no thought or social skill can make you feel like the most important person in the world. Everything you do or say is perfect to them. I know that Lennon trusts me on a level that I have never experienced. If I told him to jump out of a moving car--he would. I'm convinced that not many people will experience a love like our love. I would bleed myself dry for this kid. I'm old enough now to realize that I am living in a moment that I will miss. I realized today, for the first time, that I will lose the Lennon I have right now. I feel like I'm losing certain parts of him that I really enjoy, without either of us having a choice. Strange to have a gift that is so amazing but fleeting. I have to appreciate this phase and write it down while I'm feeling it, in hopes that it will bring the feeling back when I need it. I hope that there are even better things to come that I haven't experienced yet. Thanks for making me feel love, fear and mostly hope.
