Lennon turns TWO!

{i wrote this the day after lennon's birthday. Just haven't posted it yet.}

Two years ago {yesterday} my life changed forever.

Lennon Jay Nilsson was here!

I will forever be grateful for what this little guy has brought to our family.

Man do we love him.

Lennon buddy, you have changed me for good. You make me want to be a better person. You are my motivation. Through all of this craziness with your brother, you have been the one who has pulled me through. You truly make me happy. I remember when I was in the hospital and hadn't seen you in a while, when you would walk through those doors you would bring tears to my eyes.

I love you... with all of my heart and more.

Thank you for being you. I love your hugs and kisses. I love it when you throw a fit and your fake cry... I really can't help but laugh in your face. You are a stinker. I love how you try to make everyone laugh. Your sense of humor is already genius. I love how you are starting to say full sentences and how you can understand me. I love when you try and help. I love how much you love balls... really Lennon, you are abnormal. I can't wait to watch you someday. You are going to be one heck of an athlete. I love how much you changed my life. I love how you make me feel. Nothing will ever come close. I love how you already love your brother and you haven't even met him in person. He is one lucky dude to follow in your footsteps. Lennon you are one of a kind and we are lucky to have you. I thank heavens every day for you.

love you more and more each day

xoxo

5 weeks and four pounds...

{isn't he sweet?}

Holden is now 5 weeks and some.

He is also just a little over four pounds and gaining every day. It is so nice to see some meat on his bones. He is really so sweet.

He is still on the high flow nasal cannula and they have been trying to ween him down. He didn't like it at first and they were having to keep him at four liters. The nurses noticed that he may have acid reflux and that could be why he isn't able to tolerate less oxygen. I noticed that as well. During every feeding toward the end he seemed to have a harder time breathing because he was trying to keep his food down. After noticing that {i guess it is extremely common in all babies} they started him on prevacid which helps to control that. After they started him on that medication he seemed to do a lot better and they were eventually able to ween him to three liters. We are now waiting for him to ween to two and they might get brave and try that today. He was on two and a half on Sunday and had to go back up to three after five hours. I think it wore him out. He was also a little swollen and seemed to be retaining more fluid than normal. They started him on a diuretic so he could pee that off and it seemed to be working. He is less swollen and it is also easier to breathe. They did an ultrasound of his heart yesterday because he was swollen and turns out he had more fluid then they wanted and it was a good thing they started him on the diuretics. They are going to have a heart doctor come look at him on Thursday to see if we should continue with the diuretics or if he has shed most of the fluid and it is okay to discontinue. His heart seems to be fine, they just want to be sure. I don't know how I feel about that. I guess a little nervous. I just want my little guy to progress and eventually get out of there. Right now it is his oxygen. I pray that he will tolerate the lower flow and is able to come off that quickly... you can pray too ;) As soon as he is down one more liter then I can start breast feeding.

Other than his oxygen he is doing great. He is able to tolerate his feedings and gain weight appropriately, he is also able to maintain his own body temp, he is alert when he should be, etc. Everyday that passes I become more and more attached. I love Holden and pray he will continue to hang in there. Thank you all for your support. Please keep him in your prayers. I know that is what is pulling this guy through.

thanks again.

3 weeks and counting

Holden is now three weeks and two days old. I honestly can't believe that was three weeks ago. Holden is doing well. I know that your prayers are helping and I appreciate them more than you will know. Please keep it up. Last post I mentioned he had an infection. Turns out he responded well to the anti-biotics and the infection is gone. What a blessing. He is no longer jaundice, he is on full feedings with full amount of calories which is great. He is gaining weight every day. He is getting big fast and I love it.

He now weighs 2 pounds 12 ounces.

He is still tiny but I will take what I can get :) He is still on the nasal cannula and still in need of assistance that way. They say it is very common in preemies to need oxygen. I honestly can't complain. Every day I just keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. I continually remember how lucky I am to even have this little fighter. We are so so blessed. Please keep our little Holden in your prayers. They are going a long way and we are going to be forever in debted to you all.

Thank you.

In the meantime, I have been thoroughly enjoying my time with Lennon and B. Here are some pics of these last three weeks.

{It has been so nice being out of a bed}

**o ya... we finally moved completely out of our house in West Jordan and are now Alpiners, thanks to my parents.

{another BIG blessing}

** one more thing... B deferred a year for law school. Too much going on right now. We just need to get back on our feet and we will stress about that next year :)

these nut jobs went on that

fun was had by all!

oh and I can't forget my Lennon...

check him out.

cute little guy.

2 weeks down

holden lloyd

{isn't he precious?!}

I have been meaning to update but my life seems to be insane lately. Holden turned two weeks on Sunday. In a way it seems like it is going by fast, but on the other hand, it seems like a year. I feel like I already know him so well.

As far as Holden goes, he is doing exceptionally well. He is on a nasal cannula still. I am shocked. I thought that he would bounce back to the ventilator but so far he is shocking us all. He is pooping and peeing like he should, they did his ten day brain scan and everything came back NORMAL. No brain bleeds!! {Those are extremely common in preemies} I was so glad to hear that. He is on his full feedings and tolerating them well. He is gaining weight and already passed his birthweight. He lost a lot of weight there in the beginning. I desperately wanted him to start gaining. He is just so so small... cute but small. These last couple of days he has had a little set back.

He got an infection.

They caught it fast and were able to start him on antibiotics. I am just hoping that can clear up soon and am crossing my fingers all will be okay. It truly is a roller coaster. The nurses and doctors are still pleased with his progress and they say in spite of his infection he doesn't seem to act sick. He is still responding normally. The one thing that was kind of frustrating was they were taking him off the high flow cannula and going to put him on the regular cannula, but with his infection he needed to be put back on the high flow. I still can't complain. I feel so blessed that he has been able to hold his own. Honestly, it is shocking. I was talking to one of our favorite nurses, Linda {all the nurses are great, I just love how Linda takes special interest in Holden} and she was saying that they were not expecting Holden to do nearly as well as he is. She said that it was extremely abnormal. I will take it!! I know this is going to be one crazy ride and we have already had one bump in the road, hoping that it will pass soon with no permanent damage, but all in all I fell blessed to be able to watch my little one grow. I love him. He is a special spirit already. I know that he is doing well because of all the love and support people have shown. He has so many people praying for him.

Please continue to pray. He needs them.

I will always feel so indebted to you all. I will definitely keep everyone updated on a more regular basis. I am just trying to figure out how to balance everything. Lennon is doing great and so is B. We really can't complain. Thanks again for your positive vibes! Please keep up those prayers.