Well just a litle update for you all...
I am home now. I got home last night. It was kind of my choice and I can go back anytime I feel like I should. When I went in on Monday, they monitored the baby and actually set my due date back four days which was a bummer because that means viability is four days back. The reason why is because I am not sure what my exact due date is. They decided to admit me anyway and start me on steroids and antibiotics because the baby's weight. He was weighing pretty big for how far along they think I am.
So Monday afternoon they got me started and I was meeting with every doctor possible. First was the neonatologist. I never want to have that meeting again. He basically told me every bad thing that could happen and left me with no hope. When he left I told B my heart was physically hurting. Like I thought I needed a pain killer. Nothing has ever felt like that. I understand that my baby doesn't really have a chance right now, but that was a hard discussion. B and I decided we just want to let let nature take it's course until 24 weeks. I don't want to put the baby through hell if he is born right now. At 24 weeks, I will do whatever I can to fight for his life if he is born. I am just praying he can hang in there til at least 28 weeks. The doctors and I seem to be on the same page as far as that goes.
I am hopeful and staying positive. It is hard not having any control over anything. All I can do is lay and really listen to what the doctors say, and pray hard. After that, it is totally in the Lords hands. It has been a true excersise of faith and will continue to be. I am grateful that no matter what the outcome is, I know that we can all be together forever.
What a great blessing.
So the plan going forward is I stay home, in bed until Tues. That is when I am 24 weeks and back to the hospital for some intense care. I am still not contracting and no sign of labor. I will obviously head straight to the hospital if I have any sort of doubt. It gets a little scary sometimes but I am trying to chase that out with a lot of praying. All I can do now is hope for the best and ask all of you to please keep us in your prayers. I really can feel them and am so grateful for them.
So for now its...
Pray pray pray.
I am home now. I got home last night. It was kind of my choice and I can go back anytime I feel like I should. When I went in on Monday, they monitored the baby and actually set my due date back four days which was a bummer because that means viability is four days back. The reason why is because I am not sure what my exact due date is. They decided to admit me anyway and start me on steroids and antibiotics because the baby's weight. He was weighing pretty big for how far along they think I am.
So Monday afternoon they got me started and I was meeting with every doctor possible. First was the neonatologist. I never want to have that meeting again. He basically told me every bad thing that could happen and left me with no hope. When he left I told B my heart was physically hurting. Like I thought I needed a pain killer. Nothing has ever felt like that. I understand that my baby doesn't really have a chance right now, but that was a hard discussion. B and I decided we just want to let let nature take it's course until 24 weeks. I don't want to put the baby through hell if he is born right now. At 24 weeks, I will do whatever I can to fight for his life if he is born. I am just praying he can hang in there til at least 28 weeks. The doctors and I seem to be on the same page as far as that goes.
I am hopeful and staying positive. It is hard not having any control over anything. All I can do is lay and really listen to what the doctors say, and pray hard. After that, it is totally in the Lords hands. It has been a true excersise of faith and will continue to be. I am grateful that no matter what the outcome is, I know that we can all be together forever.
What a great blessing.
So the plan going forward is I stay home, in bed until Tues. That is when I am 24 weeks and back to the hospital for some intense care. I am still not contracting and no sign of labor. I will obviously head straight to the hospital if I have any sort of doubt. It gets a little scary sometimes but I am trying to chase that out with a lot of praying. All I can do now is hope for the best and ask all of you to please keep us in your prayers. I really can feel them and am so grateful for them.
So for now its...
Pray pray pray.
11 comments:
rachel.. I am so sorry you are going through this. I just want to say that you will be in my prayers for sure and I send you all the good vibes I can :) As you know, my sis em had the same thing happen and now that boy is a thriving 10 year old! So, just keep your head up and everything will be okay. xo allison
We will continue to have you and that sweet little baby in our prayers! Let us know if there is anything else we can do to help you out. If your family needs us to give them a break in watching Lennon, we would love to do it! Just know we are here for you. Thanks for the update. ~Donna
Keep hanging in there... Neonatologist always seem to deliver the bad news. I don't know why they always have to lay out the worst case scenarios.
rach, thanks for updating, ive been checking your blog all the time to see whats going on!My heart hurts for you, you are so positive and being so strong,reading this puts everything in perspective, where it should be. hang in there!
Hey girl! Stay positive. It is a super stressful time, but all you have to do is stay down. Every day that you can keep that little one in...it counts. The Neo's always have to give you the worst case senario, but they are wonderful doctors. Will you be "living" at Utah Valley Medical Center?? I work there 2 nights a week.
We will continue to pray for you, the babe and your sweet family. Please know that I am happy to help out with Lennon as much as I can. I would be willing to have him come over every Thursday and play! That is one of my days that I don't have school and he is more than welcome to come play for a few hours (Asher would love a friend!)
Please let me know. I'd be happy to come get him.
Loves . . .
Lindsay Spence
Here is a link that I thought might give you hope. http://goldsberryadventures.blogspot.com/2010/04/easterspring-kid-pics.html The boy and the girl that appear first in the pictures of the children are 6 year old twins that were born at 23 weeks.
rach.. i love all the updates. keep calling/texting me as much as you want.. i love answering all of your questions and helping you the best i can. i love you rach, and i have a good feeling that you are going to pull through this!
Rachel, I saw your blog through Farrah's and I just wanted to tell you that me and my family are keeping you in our prayers. (This is Kellie Bowen by the way, one of Farrah's high school homies. Sorry for stalking) my heart aches for you and your little guy. I look forward to your updates often. I am about a week behind you, also having a boy. Stay strong and know that the Lord is looking out for you, B, Lennon and your baby. This is a miracle baby, I can tell :)
Rachel~ I work in Adult ICU. It's 2 floors down from your future home! I'll swing up and visit sometime. FYI...they have a parent support group that is awesome. When I was there they did a scrapbook afternoon once a week where they supply everything for you, it's mostly just to get together with other moms going through the same thing. It was fun and nice to do something different. I'm sure someone will be through to talk to you about it, but I'd ask about it if they don't. Hang in there!
don't you worry little one. us blaney's have you all in our every prayer. and i went to the dc temple for you last week. so you have people across this nation praying. you are awesome rach. keep updating please.
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