a real miracle...

its me, farrah, rachel's sister. im going to be posting and updating you all on rachel, b, and baby holden. oh, our sweet little baby holden.

last night, rachel starting bleeding. she started contracting as well. all through the night the bleeding never let up and her contractions became very consistent and painful...about every 5 minutes. the staff kept a really close watch on her and the baby, and about 6am the doctor came through the door and told rachel she has a choice to make.

after praying all night through her contractions, she felt strongly that there really wasn't a choice and that her little holden needed to join us. the doctor checked her and she was dialated to a four and completely effaced. he looked at her and told her how right she was and they took her in immediately for the c-section.

in fact, moments before the doctor even walked through the door, rachel told B to get ready cause little holden will be arriving shortly. not 5 minutes later, the doc came in. what a true miracle too, that rachel felt that intuition and followed through with it. she very well could've ignored it and they could've waited, but when the procedure was done they informed us all that if holden had not come at that very second he did, things would've been....much different.... thank you rachel for your strong will to follow your heart...and listen.

they performed the c-section, with B in the room. as soon as they saw little holden's bumb, they asked B to come have a first look at his new precious fighter. i think B is still in shock from the whole scene, but what a strong solid person he is. he has taken this all in, and been there. been there for rachel....especially there for rachel...physically, mentally and emotionally. bouying her up and keeping her alive, and breathing. i love you b...so much. i couldn't be more grateful for you, to be the one to hold rachels hand through all of this and be so so strong. wow. that's why i have a really special place in my heart for you. you have taken such good good care of my very best friend...our sister...and daughter. we love you. thank you.

as soon as rachel was through, they wheeled her back to her room, and as she entered the room, she went into hysterics...much deserved if you ask me. she freaked out. the doctor literally came in and tranquilized her. she kept saying 'wow'...'wow'...'that was so so so hard'. it was....and that phrase is an understatement.

she fell asleep. finally. she fell asleep. she was snoring. finally. she was resting. i was so happy to walk in the room and see her with her mouth gaping open...snoring under her oxygen mask. i cried. i was crying before then, but i cried when i saw her asleep. finally, she can sleep. but only for a time. she woke up, came too, and never stopped talking...can't blame her.

during that time of rachel's rest, the doctors and nurses were working on little holden. getting all his tubes, monitors, ventilators, and everything else going, to get him stabilized. the one word rachel has been asking to hear, praying her little heart out to hear...that one crucial and life-changing word. stabilized. it came. he is stabilized.

he is stabilized. he swallowed a lot of blood, so the first few seconds of his life were focused on that. getting all that sucked out and under control. it is under control. his lungs look good, and looking better and better by the minute. his heart is strong. his brain looks perfect. he has already peed...his kidneys are working well, and as for his oxygen levels, well, they aren't having to assist him with that as much as they anticipated. he looks perfect. his skin is very pink, he is perfect from head to toe, his muscle mass is great...squirming a lot more than normal...which is really really good. looks like a really small newborn:) he weighed in at 2 pounds 5 ounces, surprisingly large...considering. and thats for real. that is very good for his gestational age...27 weeks and 4 days. miracle.

i know this is long, and it may just get longer. when i walked into the hospital room and saw rachel sleeping, the spirit overtook me, and i could literally feel my heart swell. the room was so quiet. so calm. everyone around her had wet faces with tears, weeping. but quietly. everyone in there own Heaven...literally. that little hospital room was one very sacred room...at that time. as rachel layed there, i sobbed. i thought to myself...your done rach. that is done. no more of that...rach. i sobbed some more, quietly, and looked at her again and thought, wow, i never knew such a strong bond existed...between sisters. it took everything not to stroke her head or hold her hand. it took everything not to wake her. i can honestly say that rachel is the toughest person i know. what she has been through, and conquered so far, i still can't wrap my mind around. to see her at her lowest, but stay so strong...and fight...the only word i can think of is insprirational. truly. to see her fully submit herself to the Lord, and submit the future to Him, yet stay faithful and fight for her wish, her prayer, her most desired gift of all, is truly a miracle in and of itself.

rachel, i can't find the words...i can only say thank you. thank you for being who you are, fully and completely, always. you are unbelievably strong. brave. and tough. so tough. we love you so much. i know what you would wish for me to say right now. and i will...right now.

this is what i hear rachel saying if she were to write right now:

everyone: family...friends...acquaintances...neighbors....strangers...everyone...thank you for your prayers. thank you so much. if i could ask one more thing from any of you who have tuned in to our long and difficult journey...please keep praying...for my little holden...please. we feel them, and i know he does too. that is all we can do...and i beg of you to join us in calling to the heavens in prayer, for him. i promised him while i held him in my tummy all those long days and nights, that if you fight, i'll fight. you fought, and i'm still fighting, and im asking you to all join in the fight...and pray pray pray. i love you all so so so much. thank you, everyone. thank you.

ps...everyone who wishes to join us in fasting tomorrow for our new precious arrival, please know you are more than welcome. thank you again and again!

ill keep posting, until rach feels up to it.